Thank
you very much. Today, we will discuss how to practice Emotional First Aid. A
couple of days ago, my daughter sent me a TED Talk and said, “This video is the
reason why I’m so passionate about mental health and psychology. Please watch
it and let me know what you guys think!” The title of the video is “How to
practice emotional first aid” published by Guy Winch. He compared our emotional
and mental health with our physical health. He explained it in the beginning:
What
do we know about maintaining our psychological health? Well, nothing. What do
we teach our children about emotional hygiene? Nothing. How is it that we spend
more time taking care of our teeth than we do our minds?
Why is it that our physical health is so much more
important to us than our psychological health? We sustain psychological injuries
even more often than we do physical ones, injuries like failure or rejection or
loneliness. And they can also get worse if we ignore them, and they can impact
our lives in dramatic ways.
Dr.
Winch explained how important it is to protect ourselves from loneliness,
heartbreak, emotional pain, rejection, and emotional bleeding by practicing
emotional first aid. He said we often convinced ourselves that we cannot do this
or that, but it is bad for our mental health not to practice emotional hygiene. One failure prevents us to move one and stuck in the same place because we are so afraid of doing things correctly. Many people somethings think that they have to do correctly, or they should not do. They are so fearful to fail.
For example, if someone
who has many resources and experiences than you failed the same goal you may have,
you might convince yourself you would not be successful. In Seicho-No-Ie we
must have a strong conviction to achieve our goals because our mind has the
motive power to work hard our endeavors, to push ourselves forward without
giving up, and believe in ourselves.
Dr. Winch introduced
“rumination” which one of the unhealthiest and most common habits. This means you
repeat negative experience in your mind over and over again. He explained in
this way:
To ruminate means to chew
over. It’s when your boss yells at you
or your professor makes you feel stupid in class, or you have a big fight with a friend and you just can’t stop replaying the scene in your head for days,
something for weeks on end. Now, ruminating about upsetting events in this way
can easily become a habit, and it’s a very costly one because by spending so
much time focused on upsetting and negative thoughts, you are actually putting
yourself at significant risk for developing clinical depression, alcoholism,
eating disorders, and even cardiovascular disease. The problem is the urge to
ruminate can feel really strong and really important, so it’s a difficult habit
to stop.
We all experience these.
However, by doing this we use our mind power in a negative way and intensify
our mind power to create our environment negatively. Rev. Masaharu Taniguchi
explained this in a different way:
Count the things that you can do rather than what you cannot
do.
“I am good for nothing!” By
believing this we are only aggravating our sense of inferiority. Even
if we fail just once, if we think about our failure for a hundred times, we are
impressing it on our mind to that extent. Moreover, those thoughts become the
cause of an inferiority complex. Therefore if we wish to do away with our
inferiority complex, it is best to stop counting our failures and take notice
of our successes. (Open the Door of Your Life,
Vol. 3, p. 169)
We have to create a positive habit by ruminating
positive experiences. This is exactly Dr. Winch suggested. He had his twin
brother who had suffered from aggressive cancer, he fell into this situation.
Fortunately, he is a psychologist and knew what to do. He said, “Studies tell
us that even a two-minute distraction is sufficient to break the urge to
ruminate in that moment. And so each time I had a worrying, upsetting, negative
thought, I forced myself to concentrate on something else until the urge
passed. And within one week, my whole outlook changed and became more positive
and more hopeful.”
In
Seicho-No-Ie we offer various techniques to break the urge to ruminate in the
moment. We have Shinsokan meditation, chanting practices, transcription of the
sutras, laughing practice, Mind Purification service, practice the power of
words, etc. In particular, when we use the power of words, we use the same
technique of rumination to create a positive habit. In the prayer by Rev.
Masanobu Taniguchi in the April 2019 Truth
of Life magazine it is explained as follows:
The power of the Word in a single “act” may be
just small, but by repeating it in the same direction, the “deed” becomes
“karma” and exerts a great deal of power. By repeatedly expressing good acts,
good words, and good thoughts, “good deeds” become “positive karma” and form my
destiny. On the contrary, negative acts, negative words, and negative thoughts,
if repeated, strengthen the power of negative karma, and form a negative
destiny. It is the wrong use of the power of the Words. (Truth of Life April 2019, p. 6)
As
current academic studies show that the Seicho-No-Ie teachings and practices are
efficient and help many people. I will offer practices and ceremonies to apply
people in New York as much as possible. So, please support our movement and at
the same time help yourself.
At
this Sunday Service we will practice a simple way to change our negative
thoughts and attitude toward a positive manner. For example, when someone
causes you to suffer unjustly, mistreats you, deliberately reduces your income,
or misunderstand your true intentions, you must not hate him. It is easy to
hate the person who did something bad to you, but if you do so, you will ruminate
negative experience to form a negative habit. So, what should we do? We use the
opposite words, thoughts and expressions. When you have a very hot bath and
cannot bathe yourself because it is too hot, what will you do? Yes, put cold
water in it. In the same manner we use opposite words, thoughts and expressions
to the negative thoughts. These negative situations are only temporary
existences. The Holy Sutra Nectarean
Shower of Holy Doctrines teaches:
A temporary form is eternally false and can never
be Reality./ Do not fear what is unreal,
Do not treat as Reality what is unreal./ Confront
what is unreal with Reality.
Dismiss what is not true with the true./ Oppose
falsehood with the True Image.
Face darkness with light.
In
other words, whatever the negative situation you have to use the opposite,
which are positive words, thoughts and actions. When you are in sadness, anger,
loneliness, disapproval, complaining, or depressed, what kind of thoughts and
action do you need to do?
|
Negative Condition
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Opposite thoughts
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Practice
|
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Sadness/chagrin
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Joy
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Laughing practice/read a joke book or watch funny video
|
|
Anger
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Forgiveness
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Mind Purification
|
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Complaint/dissatisfaction
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Gratitude
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Gratitude chanting
|
|
Feel condemned/disapproved
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Blessing
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Pray for others/Practice deeds of love
|
|
Feel depressed
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Open the mind and accept all and yourself
|
Being one with nature/ Ancestral Memorial
|
|
Surrounded by negativity
|
Positive words
|
Read TOL and positive words
|
|
Impasse situation
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Consign all to God
|
Shinsokan Meditation
|
Some people may think how they can consign
everything to God in a very negative situation. However, there is no impasse in
the world of God, so if you believe in God and follow His will, everything will
turn out better. In this month Truth of
Life magazine Rev. Seicho Taniguchi wrote, “Become happy does not necessarily mean that things turn out the way
we want.” In the beginning it may not appear as what you thought it would be,
but you need to believe in God and do your best. In this article a member’s
daughter went to her mother’s to help for a month, so she closed her store for
a month. When she went back home, she found out that her merchandise, personal
belongings were all stolen. Her neighbors thought that she moved. Her mother
told her that she should consign everything to God. I will read the conclusion
of the article and end my lecture today:
Then later, their area
was affected by a flood, but about 8 p.m. one night of the following week, the
belongings that the burglars had stolen were found. After one stash was found,
they started to find one after another. In the end, everything that was stolen
was found. Due to this, it was as if the belongings had been evacuated before
the flood and therefore not affected, and they were returned after the flood
was over. So, everything turned out for the best. This may be something that
doesn’t happen that often, and it may even seem to be impossible when you think
about it with a human mind, but these things happen a lot when you’re guided by
“God’s infinite wisdom.” (Truth of Life,
April 2019, p. 14)
Rev. Taniguchi said that these things seem very rare
but happen “a lot.” In my life, yes, it happened. I do not share it today, but
when you truly believe in God, these things will happen. Thank you very much.
